


A body swap of two chaotic clowns

by XxSatanaxX



Category: Haikyuu!!, Hunter X Hunter
Genre: A little angst, Bodyswap, Crack Fic, Hisoka's Bungee Gum Nen Ability (Hunter X Hunter), Iwazumi and Illumi have to deal with eachothers boyfriends' shit, M/M, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Oikawa and Hisoka being chaotic, just a little, mostly chaotic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24576790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxSatanaxX/pseuds/XxSatanaxX
Summary: When Oikawa woke up in the morning, he was expecting to see his boyfriend Iwazumi lying next to him, probably still asleep. He would've woken him up and said 'rise and shine, Iwa-chan! It's time to go to school!' He'd be probably hit in the head for that, earning a comment from his grumpy boyfriend before begging to get ready for the day.Instead, he woke up in a different body, in a different house with a different person in the bed.Long story short: Oikawa and Hisoka switch bodies for a day and thing get a little chaotic
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 18
Kudos: 142





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I have no idea what I'm writing here. Just a dumb idea that I got yesterday. I tend to update my things slowly, so there's a big chance this will take forever, but I still hope you will like it!
> 
> You can follow be on twitter for more dumb shit: @Blue_uvu

When Oikawa woke up in the morning, he was expecting to see his boyfriend Iwazumi lying next to him, probably still asleep. He would've woken him up and said ' rise and shine,  Iwa-chan ! It's time to go to school!' He'd be probably hit in the head for that, earning a comment from his grumpy boyfriend before begging to get ready for the day.

Instead, he woke up in a different body, in a different house with a different person in the bed.

Oikawa was utterly confused. Is something like that even possible? What kind of magic was this? He looked at the person next to him, who was still sleeping. It appeared to be a man with very long hair. He has never seen a man with who had such long hair. He thought of waking him up, but how was he going to explain this? Hi, I swapped bodies with your boyfriend (he assumed this body  belonged to his boyfriend) my name is Oikawa  Tooru ! But it's not like he could act like the man in which body he was in as he didn't know anything about him. 

Needles to say, this entire situation was a mess he didn't know how to get out of.

The first logical thing for him to do was to look at a mirror. He should at least know how he looked like. By now, he realized that this person was an adult and had a very well build body. He was a bit jealous, but he'd never admit it to anyone.

He stepped into the bathroom, looking for a mirror and stopped in front of it.

_'Why do I have a feeling that this guy is some kind of a clown?'_

This man was pretty tall, he had red hair and yellow eyes. But there was something about him that rubbed Oikawa the wrong way. He turned around, wanting to observe the rest of the body more, and then noticed something on his back. There seemed to be a tattoo of some sort, with a spider and number 4 on it.

The first thing he thought that it was maybe because the man just like spiders, but that was highly unlikely. No one would make such a big tattoo because of it. The second thing that came to his mind was that this man was probably a part of some organized crime group, which would explain why he was feeling so uncomfortable. 

_'This is really going to be tricky'_ , he thought to himself.

"I'm guessing you're not  Hisoka ?"

Oikawa flinched at the sound of the voice that came from the door. The man that was next to him in the bed was now awake. And naked. They clearly had something together.

The other thing that really caught Oikawa's attention next to the man's hair, were his eyes. They were pitch black and looked as if he was dead. He was also feeling a bit uneasy with him. Whoever this  Hisoka guy was, he was definitely a dangerous person.

Guessing that the unknown man wanted some sort of answer,  Oikawa responded to him.

"Nope! I'm Oikawa  Tooru !"

_'Great. Nailed it Tooru_ _'_.

______________________________________

Iwazumi expected to be woken up but his boyfriend who would be screaming at him to get up and get ready for school. It wouldn't be unusual for Oikawa to just decide to crash into  Iwazumi's house and sleep there for a few days. His parents already got used to it and he kind of because a part of the family. 

But instead of his loud and obnoxious boyfriend, he was greeted by something much different.

Oikawa was sitting on the window of  Iwazumi's bedroom. He never did that before. 

"Oi, Shittykawa, why are you sitting on the window?"

Oikawa turned his head around but didn't respond right away. Another thing not typical of him. Normally he'd respond immediately to anything that was said to him. 

He then smiled. But the smile wasn't Oikawa's. This had to be someone else.

"Good morning. I am guessing that this body belongs to someone named Oikawa?"

______________________________________

Iwazumi was familiar with this whole thing. It happened to him too. There was a myth about how there is a possibility to, on a very rare occasion, swap bodies with someone for a day. People said that this extended over to alternative universes and confirmed them as something that exists.  Iwazumi didn't believe in any of that. Well, up until it happened to him and he woke up as a 30-year-old man who was a 'pro hero', who thought English in a hero high school and had his own radio show. That day was the biggest mess in his life and he will never forget it. After that first time, it happened a few more times, but at that point, he managed to somewhat communicate with this man and both of them figured out how to act like each other when it happened. While they weren't able to transfer their talents, making some of those days really hard for volleyball practice, they somehow managed it. But it was a very rare thing. In fact, it happened 3 times in total. 

After that experience,  Iwazumi was somewhat expecting this to happen to Oikawa too. And now was that time.

"Yes. I'm  Iwazumi Hajime, his boyfriend. And you are?"

"Call me  Hisoka ", the man said. It wasn't familiar to him, which  meant that there was a possibility  that he was from an alternative universe. And that  meant that Oikawa may get into some trouble if he's in a bad position.

"Tell me  Hisoka , when Oikawa wakes up, what will he encounter?" He has to know that Oikawa was going to be okay. If something happened then... He didn't know what would actually happen if someone died while in this body swap, but the possibility of dying was still there.

"He'll wake up next to my boyfriend, of course!"  Hisoka seemed pretty chill about all of this. Has this happened to Oikawa before and he just didn't know about it? When he went through this the first time, it was weekend so there wasn't much of a possibility for him to mess something up. Oikawa also didn't know this happened to  Iwazumi , which was the main reason why the other to times the day after it he commented on how he wasn't that good the previous day. 

"Alright. Is this the first time this happened?"

"Yes, the first time. I'm surprised that I get to swap a body with a teen I must say".

_'So he's an adult.'_ It was a bit of valuable info for him. Now Oikawa had even more things that he could mess up. Imagine if this guy lost his job because of Oikawa. He'd hate him for the rest of his life.

"Okay. One more thing. Is... Is Oikawa going to be okay? There's a good possibility that he'll mess something up, so don't be surprised if something horrible is awaiting you tomorrow.

Hisoka let out a laugh. "Well,  I think  Illumi doesn't have any assassinations planned for today, so he should be fine. I doubt he'd get into trouble with Illumi around".

".... Assassination!?"

This guy,  Illumi , was an assassin!? Then  Hisoka must be doing something as bad as that guy!

"Ah yes,  Illumi is from a family of assassins. I assist him sometimes. Don't worry though, he should be fine, that's a promise!"

He wasn't sure if he could trust him though. 

"How about you tell me something about your friend-"

"Boyfriend"

"Boyfriend Oikawa! That way people won't suspect that it's not him."

That was something he had to do. Oikawa was lucky that he wasn't alone in this. He had luck because that pro hero wasn't living alone and had someone who knew all of this, but the guy didn't have that much luck here. Again, everything turned out fine, but the initial confusion, especially if you've never heard of the body swap, can really break down the person.

Iwazumi had to make sure that doesn't happen here and he was hoping Oikawa will get that.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, let me get this straight: I'm in the body of your boyfriend, Hisoka, who also happens to be part of this Phantom Troupe that does a lot of bad stuff because they feel like it. He also wants to kill their leader because he's very strong and he also wants to fight a 12 year old kid when he grows up because he's strong? And you're also an assassin and Hisoka occasionally helps you?"

"Yes, that's about it."

Oikawa knew that all if this was going to be a mess, but not this much of a mess. He's stuck with an actual assassin who is also dating this Hisoka guy and there's a good chance that someone from that Phantom Troupe could appear anytime to ask him to help them with a job. Everything could go to hell really fast and he didn't like that.

"I'm guessing that you don't want to do anything that could get you in trouble, right?" Illumi, Hisoka's boyfriend, said. 

"Yep! I don't wanna get into trouble it's not nice, is it?"

He could automatically tell that the guy was annoyed by his way of speaking, but something told him that the owner of this body did much worse thinks and that this is not something Illumi couldn't handle.

"So, Illumi-chan, what does Hisoka normally do?"

"Do not. Call me. Illumi-chan." 

The fact that he was most annoyed at that was telling him that he may have crossed the line a little bit. It looked like he wasn't a very openly affectionate person, which was thw reason why he didn't really want to talk much with him now. While Oikawa was in Hisoka's body, he was still Oikawa Tooru and not Hisoka. He was totally different from him.

"Sorry, sorry! But really, what does he do all day?"

Illumi looked a little annoyed. "Don't know. I don't usually bother with what he does. We usually don't spend much time due to my jobs. These are some rare occasions where we are together. We tend to spend time doing our own thing at times like this."

If anything, Oikawa found the source of Illumi's moodiness. Him and Hisoka don't get to spend a lot of time together and now that they finally get to, he switched bodies with Oikawa and now he's stuck with a high schooler in his boyfriend's body. If he and Iwazumi had a similar life where they didn't see each other every day, he would be annoyed too.

He wasn't sure what to say now. It's not like he had a situation similar to this before. From his own memory, Iwazumi never went through something like this before. 

He's wondering how is he doing. From what he understood, this Hisoka guy is probably going to do something not so good in his body, that was for sure. But, considering Iwazumi will be there most of the time, he was hoping he'll do his usual thing and try to smack him. He never thought he'd be glad that he was going to be smacked by Iwazumi. Well, at least his body is going to be.

He was just hoping that everything will be fine.

______________________________________

"Oi, oi, don't go too far away! You don't know where the school is!"

Iwazumi's day couldn't get better. There was a totally different person in Oikawa's body who also happens to be someone who could probably kill him without any remorse and now he had to go to school with him, hoping no one will notice that this is not the same Oikawa.

If anything, his mother understood the situation, considering she already went through it a few times with him, so there wasn't too much to worry about when it came to his household. School on the other hand, was the problem.

Hisoka seemed as a very extroverted person who was clearly into anyone he liked. He realized that much after being able to whoo his mom in a matter of seconds. He wondered how this Illumi guy was living his life like this.

"My Iwa-chan, shouldn't I be in character now?" He also pulled Oikawa very well. He hated how good he was in acting like him. Iwazumi spent around half an hour trying to describe Oikawa to him, and he nailed it. To the smallest bits of his character. This guy was incredibly talented in learning things fast, to such an extent that it made him feel a little threatened. What if Oikawa never comes back because he dies for doing something stupid? Maybe then Hisoka would stay in his body and he would never realize that because he's so good at acting.

"My, are you worried about something Iwa-chan?"

Instead of being truthful, he decided to lie.

"We have volleyball practice after school. Have you ever played volleyball before?"

"Hmm, i remember seeing it a few times before, bur I've never played it personally. You'd have so show me some videos of it before the practice then."

Iwazumi stopped walking.

"Like you can learn to play it by just watching a few clips of it."

"Is that a challenge?" His voice was a little different then before. It sounded as there was some kind of bloodlust in it. It creeped Iwazumi out.

"No one is capable of doing that, not never the smartest people in the world. Not without some kind of practice, that is."

"Trust me, you don't personally know me. There won't be any problem with it".

This entire situation was frustrating. Hisoka was one very weird and very much dangerous person. He was hoping Oikawa was having much better luck then him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you for reading! I was pleasantly surprised that some of you liked this, so I got the courage to continue! This one is much shorter, because I'm still trying to get used to the characters, as this is my first time writing all 4 of them. I'm also a little unsure of how I'm going to fit Illumi and Oikawa together, but I'll manage somehow! Again, thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the reason it took me so long to continue this story is mostly that I got distracted by another one, sorry about that ^-^'''' Not to mention that soon enough university started and I had to work a lot because of that and I still am. Just now I managed to find some time to write this! I'm planning on finishing it, so do look forward to it!

“… Seriously?”

“Hey, I don’t know how his body works! How was I supposed to know that I could do this?”

The last thing Oikawa wanted was to annoy Illumi even more, and it looked like he managed to do just that. He was glued to the table for an unknown reason, and he just couldn’t get away from it. Illumi was the only person who could help him with this, and he wasn’t liking the idea of having to babysit a high schooler in his boyfriend’s body.

“It’s probably your nen”, Illumi said.

“A what?”

The other man sighed. “Forget it. I’m not explaining to you all of that. Just think of something”.

Oikawa was confused. “What do you mean ‘think of something?’ I’m not sure if I’m following”. Illumi was already so annoyed by this point that he just turned around and went towards the kitchen.

“Solve it yourself”.

This man was a lot colder than Oikawa initially thought.

Sure, Iwazumi was sometimes cold too, but it was within reason. Oikawa knew to be a bit too mean sometimes and Iwazumi’s reactions to that were reasonable and used to send him back to the ground. Illumi, on the other hand, was doing this in a much different manner. It was more ‘screw you, fix the shit you did wrong yourself’ with a little bit of guidance.

He thought again about the whole ‘just think of something’ part. What could he be referring to? Something he liked? He liked volleyball, but he’s been thinking about it for a while now. Maybe ever since he finally got a hang of what’s going on. It didn’t seem to do anything.

Maybe it was about something else. Something real? An animal? He liked dogs. He thought of them, about playing with them, doing silly things with dogs, and them sleeping next to his bed at night. Nothing much changed. This was a lot harder than he thought.

Maybe he was thinking about wrong things? Maybe he should’ve thought of his family? His mom, his sister and his nephew. They were some of the people he cared about the most. And Iwazumi! He loved Iwazumi a lot. They both cared about each other and loved spending time together. Even when they didn’t get along perfectly, they still worked. Iwazumi would correct the things he’d do wrong and would help him with school work too. He’d even let him stay at his house for a few days when his father would come home! He was such a nice boyfriend. That’s why he loved him.

Suddenly, whatever was making him be stuck to the table was gone.

As he looked over to it, he saw a weird, pink substance that was around his fingers.

Did he manage to trigger whatever he was supposed to get himself free from this? Because it looked like he did. And he was thinking of Iwazumi for it.

Who would’ve thought that just thinking of his boyfriend would save him his life?

“Illumi-cha- I mean, Illumi! I got myself free!”

He ran over to the kitchen like a happy kid who just solved a hard puzzle, letting himself stop in front of Illumi, who was looking at him with a slightly surprised face.

“Oh”, the other man said. “You freed yourself. Didn’t take you that long”.

“I know, I was surprised too!” He said. “Just what was that pink sticky thing? Apparently, I wasn’t able to see it before, but now I did. And it’s gone now too!”

Was this that nen that Illumi mentioned before? It probably was that.

Illumi sighed. “I can’t believe that I’m about to say this out loud”.

“Huh? What do you mean-”

“Bungee gum has the properties of rubber and gum.”

Oikawa stared at him for a moment.

“… Oh, was that the pink thing? It’s called bungee gum?”

“Yes. That’s Hisoka’s nen ability. Every nen used has a different one. If I now tried to explain it to you, we’d be here all day. Still, I must say that I’m surprised you managed to figure out how to free yourself”.

“Hey! Do I look like I’m dumb”, Oikawa protested.

“Yes, you do”.

“Ouch, you hurt my heart, Illumi!”, he said, faking pain in his voice, dramatically putting his hands on his chest. He probably looked even funnier with how Hisoka looked.

“I don’t care”. Illumi said. He wasn’t in for a conversation, that was for sure. Oikawa couldn’t really phantom what was on this guy’s mind at all, and usually, that wasn’t a hard thing to do for him, especially with Iwazumi.

But again, this guy is a trained assassin and probably knows how to hide his feelings and emotions a lot better than other people.

“I’m gonna go get some food. I’ll be back soon”, Illumi said, ignoring what Oikawa was thinking. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m away”

“Okeyyyy! You can count on me! Everything will be the same when you get back!”, Oikawa cheerfully said, leaning onto a counter. He was hoping that this time, he won’t get stuck to it.

Before Illumi left the house, he turned towards him one more time.

“What did you think of?”, he asked.

“Iwa-chan”

“…What”.

Oikawa giggled at that. “Iwa-chan is my boyfriend. Iwazumi, if you want a proper name”.

Illumi looked at him for a few moments before turning away from him again.

“I see”. With that, he left the house and locked the door behind him.


End file.
